know the unknown

Mission Accomplished

2005-08-30T10:58:00.000+08:00

Sa wakas, natapos rin report ko. Self evaluation: not bad, but not good either. Isang malakiang WALA LANG. No big deal. People will forget about it tomorrow as son as the next student delivers her report. Good. :)

Im planning to transfer to my new account. yung original username ko talaga. stonejelly isnt me. mas feel ko ang iamlica.

See ya there!

I.Need.Self.Discipline.

2005-08-29T10:58:00.000+08:00

Today is Monday and I have classes at 7 pm. Booth closing ceremony is also at 7. How cool is that?

My head's been aching since Friday. could this be just from lack of sleep or does this mean i have to get a *new* pair of glasses? aaaaaccccckk. noooo!! i had to wear glasses when i was in sixth grade, and i didnt enjoy it! actually, i only wore them when my parents were around. i wore them at home but i took them of as soon as i stepped out of the house. hehe. my eye doctor asked me to go back for check up after i graudated in grade school. i never went back. when i entered high school, i stopped wearing them. my parents eventually forgot that i had to wear glasses. either that or they grew tired of nagging me to put them back on. i just promised myself to take care of my eyes in any way i can, which explains why i dont read that much books anymore, textbooks and pocketbooks alike. eversince high school, i stopped reading pocketbooks, which was the primary reason why i had to wear glasses in the first place. along with that, i also stopped reading long pages of textbooks. i could only go as far as reading 2 pages before my head starts throbbing. up until now, i still use that excuse not to read my heavy weight nursing books, thus explaining my just-enough-to-get-me-to-the-next-level grades. everything was goin smoothly until BLOGGING came into the picture. Sleepless nights facing nothing but the computer screen editing, posting, and bloghopping left me with extremely strained eyes much worse than reading endless textbooks. so now id have to choose whether to quit my online life and save my precious eyes or save my online life and resort to wearing glasses 24/7.

being the rational person that i am, i choose: saving my online life and limit my online time to 1-2 hours per day. sounds fair enough? :)

Drained

2005-08-27T22:26:00.000+08:00

MASAKIT BA SA MATA ANG KULAY?

is it better if i use purple instead?

I feel so drained having an average of 4 hours of sleep every night for the past 5 days. first, it was the 13-page resource unit which i had to do overnight because of that stupid midterm lec-lab midterm which was announced just 1 day before the exam! how can these creatures expect us to study for a midterm exam in one night?! yes, we know that the exam was "expected" since it was midterm week, but atleast they couldve made the announcement days earlier than the exam!! midterm exams are supposed to be announced 1 week before the exam date, not 1 day!! well, what's done is done. let's just hope my previous scores can compensate for that exam. :(

anyway, after the exams and paperworks came the founder's day celebration. it started with the Torch Parade last wednesday at around 7 pm. ended up at around 8:30, went around the booth area for a couple of minutes then went home. i was too exhausted too stay at the booth area.

friday came and it was another looonggg day. We were required to watch the Outstanding Sillimanians Awarding at Luce. We thought we had to be in semi-formal attire so rizza, madz, suzzie n i wore skirts. for all we know, it was ok to wear jeans. what a shame. we didnt finish to ceremony since it was also the open house for the girls' dormitories. we went out at around 11am to catch the last minutes of the open house. went to jua's room, ate junkfood, hung out for a while then proceeded to the next room. did the same things with 5 other rooms. :) then i ate lunch with mom and spent the afternoon with her and my aunt. our booth watching schedule was supposed to start at 4pm til 7, but being the late comer that i am, i arrived at 5pm. there wasnt much to do since there were so many nursing students at our booth already that we didnt really need to watch it anymore. so ate mar, suz, madz, rizza n i rented the improvised bicycle from the engineering booth. it looked like a kalesa except that it had 2 sets of pedals for two people instead of a horse. we had so mcuh fun riding around the booth area looking like little girls riding on a bike ofr the first time, shouting, screaming whenever someone was blocking the way since it had no brakes and the steering wheel was so wobly. the time limit was supposed to be jusr 15 minutes but we got so carried away that we didnt realize that we were riding around like crazy for almost an hour already. if that engineering guy didnt approach us, we woudnt have stopped. hehe :) after our ride has been "confiscated", we opted to have dinner since all of us were so exhausted from all that screaming and laughing. after dinner, we pretty much just hung out at our booth.

i met a handful of old and new faces that night. first was bj, suzzie's ex who now studies in cebu but came back to dgte for the weekend. then there was meggy, madz's boyfriend, whom she is madly, deeply inlove with. finally, after all the kilig stories we hear from her almost everyday, it's nice to see the princess's counterpart of the fairytale. :) i also met pagong, or rather, Engr. Bulandres, who graduated 2 years ago and is now an "international" engineer. hehe. i havent seen him for the longest time. i guess the last time i ever saw him was days before his graduation when we still used to hang out at the Stairz. i never saw him after he graduated. i just heard he took the board in september that same year and passed it as well. then i heard he was working somewhere in Luzon with his dad and mine. then i heard he also worked in papua and only came back to pinas for a couple of weeks before leaving for work again. and i also heard he got together with his childhood friend, eunice, who also hung out with us when she was still in college. their love story was sweet. i was so happy when i heard that they were a couple. they look good together. :) he introduced me to his friends: ken, gabby and earnest who were his batchmates in college and equally successful engineers at the present. they were nice. then i also met mara and mae, my high school buddies who came to visit the booth area.

we went home at around midnight. it was weird leaving the booths since people were only arriving when we left. although a part of me wanted to stay, my body was already complaining and my mom was already calling. when i got home, i dropped dead in my bed and woke up at 6:45. i was supposed to wake up early since the cheering competition starts at 7:30. i promised suzzie that i would be at their house at 7, but again, being the late comer that i am, i arrived at around 7:30. when we arrived at the sports complex, the entrance line was a mile long! buti nalang, we managed to make singit at the middle part of the line. :)

College of Nursing won again!! CHAMPION pare!!! We also got the Perpetual Trophy for being the champion for 3 straight years!!! woohooo!!!

but honestly, i think last year's performance was better. but then again, im not complaining. im still thankful that we won. :) Congrats!!!

*it's a shame i dont have pictures to share :( damn smart center takes so long to process my order for a new fone >: / *

Bagong Buhay

2005-08-26T02:15:00.000+08:00

New life, new layout.

Masakit ba sa mata?
--------------------------

Nothing much to babble right now. Ive only done three things today: sleep, eat and go online. It's a sick cycle.

No classes til tuesday!

HAPPY 104th FOUNDER'S DAY SILLIMAN!

Online Shopping

2005-08-21T00:49:00.000+08:00

i was surfin thru the local Ebay and found this. i want it badly.

what's up with Teentalk and Sigaw? Bakit ayaw mag open?

i'm so hooked on online window shopping. ano pa ba mga online stores nowadays?

When We're Both Cats

2005-08-18T01:12:00.000+08:00

i have come to a decision to let things be, to let things happen when they're supposed to happen. life was simple before this happened, and i want that life back. i want that life where i dont have to think of things that doesnt really benefit me in any way. only i can get the life back. only i can give that life back. i believe in destiny once again. i believe that things are bound to happen for a reason. it is all written down. we just have to wait and see what happens next. yes, i know some people believe that it isnt enough to just wait and let things happen, they believe that we should act if we want things to go our way. in my case, i think otherwise. i believe that right now, the best thing to do is get on with my life and leave things as they are. after all, it wasnt mine to medle with, in the first place. but if destiny dictates our paths to cross, i wont turn my back on you. it will happen, in our own little time, in our own little place. perhaps now isnt that time, perhaps it will never be. ive learned to accept that we cant always have what we want. and i realized, it's that something you want so badly which you can't have. if this lifetime isnt for us, i guess i'll just wait for you in my next life...when we're both cats. :)

wake me up when september ends.

2005-08-17T10:05:00.000+08:00

it's times like this...

hhhaayyyy....life is good.

i have recovered from my "depressive" state. :)

no, i didnt suffer from major depressive illness, it's just one of those days when the clouds are dark and you cant see the sunshine. :D thanks for all the encouragement. it is highly appreciated. :)

think of happy thoughts people!

*i should stop writing such vague entries and start writing something plausible and sensible.*

Impulse Buying

2005-08-15T11:55:00.000+08:00

i think i got my implusive behavior from my mom's sister.

Giveaway

2005-08-11T13:36:00.000+08:00

I finally have a .txt file of

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE.

its 800+ pages. :)

Who wants a copy?

Email me here.

im ok but not perfectly fine

2005-08-07T00:25:00.000+08:00

sleep has restored my mind into its near-to-normal state.

over the years, ive learned to weigh things down. ive learned to choose which ones to keep, which ones to fight for, which ones to hold on to, and which ones to let go. most of the time, i made the right decisions, but there were times when i just had to blame myself for making such a stupid decision, realizing long after letting go that what i had given up was what made me happy after all. moving on is the hardest part, especially when you know that soemthing better couldve happened if only you werent so stupid.

right now, im at the point of my life where i once again have to choose between happiness and sanity. im not sure if im willing to give up that something that means so much to me right now. yes, it's the biggest thing that makes me happy, but its vague, malabo and its out of my reach. i cant go on just living and hoping cause it would only drive me crazy, but i cant just simply let go of it cause it would mean my happiness and the thought of 'what if?' would haunt me forever. but on the otherhand, a part of me is also scared of what the future brings. what if this all ends up in a tragic failure? what if ive been hoping for something non existent after all? with all the emotional turmoil ive been going through these days, i dont think id be able to handle another heartache. but then again, what if this was that 'something' ive been dreaming of all these years?

i dont want to be waiting for nothing.
i dont want to give up on something not knowing its actually what ive been dreaming of.
i dont want to make another stupid mistake.

sometimes i wish you never existed

2005-07-31T00:15:00.000+08:00

a lot of changes has happened during the past few days..or weeks...

ive been sleepless..busy..tired..depressed...confused...and irritable.

some say ive been acting weird lately...

im aware of that..

im working on it...

ive been thinking about it..

give me a few more days...

and it all boils down to these two..

2005-07-21T18:47:00.000+08:00

ang magkaribal:

VS.

nakakalito

2005-07-20T08:13:00.000+08:00

nothing sensible to share. gusto ko lang talaga magtype, although inaantok na ko.
nag exam kami kanina. as usual, di na nman ako nagaral kagabi. whats new. i believe in the powers of cramming. i know its bad and i know it doesnt serve me well, pero ano magagawa ko, last resort eh. kahit may buong araw ako para magaral, hindi talaga papasok sa utak ko yung lessons pag di pa 1 hour before the exam. dont ask me why, ganun lang talaga. maybe its because pag nagaral ako the night before, may tendency akong makalimutan ang lahat na pinagaralan ko, lalo na pag objective. okay lang sana kung essay type yung exams kasi pwede pako magisip at magpalusot, pero pag objective, nagmemental block ako. i have such bad memory when it comes to school related information. i know cramming is a bad study habit but this is what keeps me kicking in college.

---------------

i have this friend who was paired up with a classmate for our paperwork requirements in NCM. lately, 'friend' has been complaining that 'classmate' is so bossy. ok, bossy is not the exact word, sabi niya, "napakadominante niya". 'classmate' asks 'friend' suggestions about thier paperworks, but in the end, it's 'classmates's' ideas that gets implemented. so lumalabas, parang walang silbi si 'friend'. lumalabas tuloy, parang useless at irrelevant ang mga suggestions at ideas ni 'friend'. di rin makareklamo si 'friend' kasi baka daw magoverreact si 'classmate'. earlier tonight, 'friend' and i were talking about a requirement that was due this wednesday. i told her that partner and i havnt started making our paper pa. 'friend' told me that theyve started making half of their paper na. 'friend' told me that 'classmate' wanted to finish the paper tonight but 'friend' is too tired to do it tonight kasi kagagaling pa lang namin sa exam and 'friend' has been very stressed lately due to the additional errands that the student government is assigning her. gusto sana ni 'friend' magpahinga muna tonight, abyway, wednesday pa naman ang deadline and besides, natapos na nila ang kalahati. so 'friend' was telling me that she was gonna tell 'classmate' na di muna sila magtatrabaho tonight. after a few minutes, 'classmate' arrives and talks to 'friend' about their paper. as usual, 'classmate' TELLS 'friend' that they should meet tonight para matapos na nila ang other half. and all 'friend' could say was "o sige....." ako naman, pilit pinipigilan ang pagtawa. bakit kasi di makapagsalita si 'friend' pag si 'classmate' na ang kaharap? i must admit, medyo may pagkadominante nga si 'classmate' at minsan, parang bossy nga ang dating niya. pero sana naman, hindi nagpapaapi si 'friend' noh, pareho din silang students. at sana naman, maging sensitive si 'classmate'. maybe i'll tell 'classmate' about that one of these days, pag napuno ako. hihi. anyway, nung pauwi ako, hiniram ko yung fone ni friend at tinext ang "bakit di mo masabing 'tomorrow nalang'?" binalik ko sa kanya yung fone at umalis ako. when i was on my way home, nagtext si 'friend' at sinabing takot lang daw siyang magoverreact si 'classmate'. hahay..kawawang 'friend'...

-----

nga pala, i was invited to join the Art Committee for the Creative Pool sa department namin. nax. napakaflattering. si mark, ang chairman ng comittee at classmate ko, ang nag invite sakin. we were canvasing latex paints for the art therapy of our mental patients when he suddenly remembered that his committee lacked members. parang bigla nalang niyang sinabing 'uy, join ka sa committee ko". although napakainformal ng invitation, flattered pa rin ako. biruin mo, si mark, ang dakilang painter, ininvite ako. eh hindi naman ako artist, wala nga akong maipagmamalaking artwork eh. akala lang niya siguro artist ako kasi napansin niya yung handpainted t-shirt kong sinuot nung first day of classes. eh hello? parang straight lines lang yun noh. kahit grade school yata kayang gawin yun. kaso, naintriga siya dun kasi di niya akalaing pwede palang gamitin manually ang silk screen paints. dont get me wrong, hindi naman ignorante si mark, its just that he's more inclined to canvas painting than fabric painting. tipong pang masterpeice kasi yung trip niya. ako naman, pang mga-taong-walang-magawa ang hirit ko. kung anu-ano napagtitripan. minsan poster paints, minsan pastels at ngayon naman, fabric paints. pero niisa, wala akong maipagmamalaki kasi lahat trial n error pa lang. pagnasubukan ko na, parang nawawalan nako ng ganang ulitin. apathetic me.

anyway, excited na sana akong sumali, binigyan na niya ko ng student's form para sa member's file nila. fifill-upan ko na sana nung sinabi niyang nagpaplano siyang magtayo ng exhibit next month at yung mga art wroks ng members yung ididisplay niya. bigla akong nag "WHAAAATTT???" sabi niya, di naman talaga kailangang formal ang art works, kahit sketches or mga drafts lang daw, ok lang. kahita ano daw basta gawa namin ok na. tapos sinabi pa nung isang member niya na may nagawa daw siyang stained glass na art work. tatlo. tas dinescribe niya kung pano ginawa yubng stained glass. habang nagsasalita siya, feel ko parang lumiliit ako. naisip ko tuloy, di ako bagay sa grupong ito. ano ba mapapala nila sakin? wala! ano ba maitutulong ko sa kanila? wala! kaya tuloy, hanggang ngayon, di ko pa nafifill-upan yung member's profile ko. nagdadalawang isip pa ko kung willing ba talaga akong magpakapal ng mukha at sumali sa Art Committee kahit wala naman talaga akong talent sa art.

ano ba?

2005-07-16T23:38:00.000+08:00

i am in a very very serious dilemma. earlier this evening, i finally told my dad that im planning to buy a new fone. buti nanlang he was in such a good mood at pumayag naman siya. nabigla siya sa *news* ko but i guess narealize rin naman niya na medyo matagal-tagal na rin akong nka3650 and its about time na palitan na rin to. hehe besides, ive been a gud student rin naman, as atested by my adviser this morning during the parent's meeting this morning. (oo, ganyan ang college namin. parang elementary na may PTA meeting. imagine parents having a one on one conference with the adviser about the student's performance. ganun kami. parang mga bata.)anyway, nung narealize niyang seryoso talaga ako sa sinasabi ko, pumayag na rin siya. he asked me kung anong fone bibilhin ko and a couple more questions about it. then, he asked me kung bakit di nalang daw PDA ang bilhin ko? marami na rin naman daw ang gumagamit nun sa skul. oo nga noh, pwede rin kaso 20thou lang budget ko. if bibili ako ng PDA na mura, baka di rin maganda ang performance. so medyo di ko na kinoconsider yun as of now. but my options are still open, baka mag iba isip ko in da future.

set na sana yung mind ko kanina bout 3230, kaso, whe i showed him the latest issue of T3 magazine kung saan nkafeature yung 3230, nakita rin namin yung 6260. he told me na mas smart daw tingnan yung flip phones. sabi ko nman, yun talaga sana plano kong bilhin kaso ayaw pumayag ni mommy kasi madali raw masira yung may hinges. sabi niya naman, "madali ka naman magsawa e. by the time masira yan, nagsawa ka na for sure." may point rin siya.

kaya ngayon, nalilito na tuloy ako. before lumabas yung 3230, 6260 talaga dream phone ko kaso, ayaw ni mommy kasi di raw durable. kaya nung lumabas ang 3230 at nung nalaman kong medyo pareho sila ng features ng 6260, pwera nlang sa resolution, ito na yung naging bagong dream phone ko. pero kanina, nung sinabi ng dad ko na ok lang bumili nung 6260, parang torn between two lovers ako.

dami ko kasing nababasang negative comments tungkol dito sa 3230. may beeping sound daw pagnkasilent, yung keypad daw mahirap gamitin, wala daw cd kasama and worst, ang sama daw ng sound quality! eh main concern ko pa naman ang sound quality kasi mp3 at radio talaga ang habol ko sa phone eh. so parang nadidiscourage tuloy ako as fone nito. pero infairness, smart din tingnan yung 3230. at isa pa palang problema dito is hindi siya pwedeng palitan ng case. so pagnascratch siya, magiging ganun na talaga siya forever. although yung 6260 ganun din, atleast nakatago yung mainscreen nya kaya yung outer casing lang ang prone to scratches.

sa 6260 naman, wala akong masyadong naririnig na negative comments except nga na madali daw siyang masira kasi flip phone. pero lahat naman nung nagsabi, walang first hand experience. mga theories lang nila kasi nga may hinge kaya pag laging ginagamit, baka lumuwang yung hinge at masira yung phone. ganun iniisip nila. sa bagay, may point din naman sila pero baka hindi naman talaga ganun kafragile yung fone. so far, wala pa nman akong nakikilalang nasiraan ng 6260.

ang concern ko din is 3G kasi yung 3230, 3rd generation, so more advanced yung features kaya medyo nagdadalawang isip din ako dito sa 6260.

natatakot lang ako na baka magsisi ako sa bibilhin kong phone. i have 1 more week to decide and i still have no idea kung ano talaga gusto ko.

hahay...ang hirap pumili. nawawalan tuloy ako ng ganang bumili. hekhek. :)

thru sickness and in health

2005-07-10T21:07:00.000+08:00

a lot of people have been suffering from flu lately. Jaypeth, my classmate, has been admitted yesterday due to recurring fever since monday of last week. Fiona, a friend of mine was also brought to the hospital yesterday due to the same reason but was not admitted kasi ayaw nya. fighter eh. hehe

ako naman ngayon, sinisipon at sumasakit ang ulo pero nakaharap pa rin sa kompytur. tigas ng ulo eh no. hehe dalawa lang ang pinagdududahan kong pinanggalingan ng sakit na to: either nahawa ako sa mga kaibigan ko o dahil sa stress. nax. stress. kasi naman, kahapon, halos 12 hours kami sa school. well, not literally "in school" pero considered school na rin yung duty and retreat.

yestrerday, duty day namain sa mental hospital from 7-11. Nag-art therapy kami sa mga pasyente. we made a heart shapes out of sand paper tas nilagyan namin ng crepe paper ang edges. then we provided them crayons and asked them to draw something or someone that was most important to them. there were about 15-20 patients out of 53 who participated. yung iba, hindi kasi pinalabas sa cells nila kasi they were not acting "well" yesterday. yung iba rin, ayaw magparticipate kasi naaliw sa ulan so instead of joining the activity, they prefered to play under the rain. but it was ok, di naman namin sila pinipilit, therapy nga dba?

so yun, most of them drew pictures of their families kasi miss na daw nila ang pamilya nila. some of them drew thier favorite food, while some just drew anything that crossed their minds and did not bother to explain thier drawing. again, di rin namin sila pinilit na magexplain kasi baka may special meaning talaga yun na ayaw nilang ipaalam or something.

at about 10:30, we headed back to school na so that we could dismiss early para lunchbreak coz we had to be back in school before 12:30 para sa senior's retreat kasi the college hired transportations to take the students to the retreat site. pag late daw kami, baka maiwanan daw kami.

so i went back to school before 12:30, kala ko late nako, but when i got there, konti pa pala ang mga tao. as usual, were never on time.

the retreat was held in the cover courts of a tennis country club. i couldnt figure out why of all the places, yun pa napili nila. na-pa-ka-far-out.anyway, the retreat's theme was self-awareness, as usual, may sharing na nman. most of the questions were similar to the self-awareness test we had last month. we were asked to trace our favorite hand, then on each finger, we were told to draw a symbol of the most important person, the word that best describes you, a symbol of something that has made you grow as a person, something that distracts ur growth as a person and God's greatest gift to you.

so after nung sharing, may team buliding games na naman, as always. we ended up at around six. then after the retreat, my parents fethced my bro and i dun sa club na mismo kasi we had to go to church pa. sa sunday kami usually nagsisimba kaso, may nutri-fit walk bukas ng 5:30 a.m so we decided to go to church on saturday nlang.

so i got home at about 8, ate my dinner and went straight to sleep.
woke up at 5 a.m this morning kasi before 5:30 yung assembly. i had to be there on time kasi i was the secretary at ako yung nagchecheck ng attendance ng mga gago. ako yung 2nd na dumating sa class namin. yung iba, halos 6am na dumating. pero di ko na nilagyan ng late, di nama ako kj eh. the parade ended up at around 8am, so pagdating sa park, nagsiuwian na kami kahit na may program pa sana. ang dami namanng sumali e, di rin nila mapapansin na wala na kami. pagdating ko sa bahay, tulog ulit ako til noon. haaayy, sleep debt.

pikchers!!

1.)

tawi, joanna, partner, lloyd, mark

2.)

KULTO na di kumpleto

fi, ken, archelle, suzzie, jua, madz, ate tess, jess

3.)

moi, rhodz,joanna,rizza, ate jeryl

4.)

art therapy: bait nila noh?

5.)

finished work ng isang patient

6.)

si partner natutulog at si ate jeryl nakikitulog

duty duty duty

2005-07-05T22:32:00.000+08:00

psychiatric ward is so fun.

eversince i set foot on that mental institution 3 years ago, i never stopped looking forward to the time when i'd finally get the chance to go on duty there. when i was in my freshman year, we had an excursion in our psychology class. what i saw there made me grateful ang fearful at the same time. grateful that i was blessed with good genes and sane mind. fearful because we'd never know when sanity would leave me. i might be born with a defective recessive gene and when i wake up tomorrow, something might trigger that defect and the next thing i know, i'd be seeing unicorns flying and mermaids swimming in my cup of coffee. yes, it does happen. and it can happen to anyone.

so now, 4th year nako, dun na kami sa psych ward magduduty. nung orientation day, di ako sigurado pero may kutob akong ako yung pinakaexcited saming lahat. yung iba kasi, medyo apprehensive pa kasi nga madali silang natataranta. ako naman, di na makahintay kasi gusto ko na ulit makabisita dun. medyo mahirap din kasing pumunta dun pag hindi school-related activity kasi malayo siya from the city. anyway, when we got there, the place looked pretty much the same. ganun pa rin yung set-up. may isolation A para sa mga worst cases, may isolation B para sa mga moderate cases, at may isolation C sa mga bagong dating at yung medyo tolerable lang. may male at female ward rin para sa mga malapit ng gumaling o para sa mga hindi malala ang sakit. i will show you pics of my experience pag natransfer ko na sa pc.

so yun, iba't ibang klase ang makikita mo dun. may iba dun na tahimik lang, parang depressed. may iba rin na tahimik, pero nakititig lagi sayo, parang may iniisip na gawin sayo, pero di naman sila nanggagalaw, so ok lang. may iba din na normal magsalita pero medyo far out yung sinasabi. yung iba, tawa lang ng tawa, yung iba nagsasalita ng mag isa. yung iba naman, inuulit lang lahat ng sinasabi mo.

interesting talaga silang kausap. di ka mageexpect na ganun ang mga sagot nila. tulad nung last week, we were talking with one patient, medyo matino yung mga sagot niya at first so kala namin ok na siya. he mentioned na teacher siya ng gymnastics. so kala namin yung gymnastics talaga. but then he mentioned na kasali siya sa isang special kung fu org na may 12 disciples. tapos tinuruan daw sila nung ibat ibang walks. duck walk, spider walk, cat walk at elephant walk. tapos may tumbling then fly daw. im not making fun of these people. im just amazed at how their minds work. yung patient naman namin, aware naman siya na may diperensya siya. he said, "baliw ako, kaya iba ang energy ko."

naisip ko lang..

2005-07-04T23:00:00.000+08:00

recently, a friend commented na masyado raw akong dedma na tao. di daw ako naaapektohan sa mga problema. di ko raw dinidibdib ang mga problema ko kahit gano raw kalaki. pag pinagalitan daw ako, di ko daw dinidibdib. yung friend ko kasi, konting problema lang, nababahala agad. konting sermon lang, umiiyak agad. bakit daw di ako ganun?

di nya lang alam.

this morning, tungkol sa stress and anxiety yung lecture namin. kasama dun ang different coping mechanisms. dun ko narealize na suppressive pala akong tao. people have told me about this in the past but i never took it seriously. i was either unconvinced or was just plain in denial. but today, it struck me. SUPPRESSIVE would be the perfect adjective for me. kaya pala hindi nakikita ng mga tao na problemado ako. kaya pala inaakala nilang happy-go-lucky ako. kaya palahindi pa nila ako nakikitang galit na galit o lungkot na lungkot o umiiyak. kaya pala hindi nila ako nakikitang umiiyak.

di ko alam kung kelan nagsimula ang pagkasuppressive ko. as far as i could remember, ive been like this since i was young. pag may problema ako, mas gusto kong manahimik at ayusin yun ng magisa. di kasi ako komportable kung may ibang taong nakakaalam sa problema ko. ayoko kasing makaabala ng iba. kung poproblemahin pa nila pati problema ko, e di mas dadami na problema nila. e hindi naman nila kagagawan yun, so bakit kailangan nilang magsuffer? di ba? pag nalulungkot din ako, di ko rin pinapaalam sa iba. baka kasi isipin nila na mababaw akong tao. paranoid na kung paranoid pero ganun talaga ako. hanggang ngayon. sa mata ng mga tao, manhid ako. di ako naapektohan sa mga simpleng bagay. ang di nila alam, mababaw ako. ang dali kong madepressed. di ko lang pinapakita kasi ayoko ng gulo. pag pinapagalitan naman ako, di ko to masyadong iniisip. lalo na kung hindi naman talaga totoo ang ikinagagalit nila. bat ko poproblemahin e hindi naman totoo? basta't alam kong wala akong ginawang masama, binabaliwala ko nalang minsan yang mga sermon na yan. pero kung may kasalanan talaga ako, pinagiisipan ko rin. may konsensya rin ako noh.

tata! :)

krash

2005-06-30T23:19:00.000+08:00

i am officially starting my duty as a psychiatric nurse in the mental hospital tomorrow.

one patient will be taken cared of by two nurses.

partner ko ang crush ko.

i'd die if someone from my class reads this.

2005-06-28T14:30:00.000+08:00

Interesting facts which i got from Kath's blog.

You entered: 10/3/1985

You were born on a Thursday
under the astrological sign Libra.
Your Life path number is 9.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2446341.5.
The golden number for 1985 is 10.
The epact number for 1985 is 8.
The year 1985 was not a leap year.

As of 6/28/2005 1:39:18 AM CDT
You are 19 years old.
You are 236 months old.
You are 1,030 weeks old.
You are 7,208 days old.
You are 172,993 hours old.
You are 10,379,619 minutes old.
You are 622,777,158 seconds old.

There are 97 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 20 candles on it.

Those 20 candles produce 20 BTU's,
or 5,040 calories of heat (that's only 5.0400 food Calories!) .

You can boil 2.29 US ounces of water with that many candles.

Your birthstone is Tourmaline

The Mystical properties of Tourmaline:
Pink Tourmaline promotes female balance and protection. Green Toumaline promotes male balance.

Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewlers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Opal, Jasper

Your birth tree is
Hazelnut Tree, the Extraordinary

Charming, undemanding, very understanding, knows how to make an impression, active fighter for social cause, popular, moody and capricious lover, honest and tolerant partner, precise sense of judgement.

There are 180 days till Christmas 2005!

The moon's phase on the day you wereborn was waning gibbous.

-------------------

interesting, isnt it? :D

it was generated from this site

a few questions on my mind

2005-06-27T21:27:00.000+08:00

1. Has smart's unlimited call & text really ended? if not, when does it end?
my friend's sister aksi received a msg from smart saying that they have a new promo. unlimited txt pa rin but it's good for 1 day lang so it costs 15 pesos per registration. im not really sure if this one's true.

2. has anyone received a msg from smart containing the same message?

-----------------------

3. has anyone tried or know someone who has tried using SMART WI-FI? Ano yung feedbacks? ok ba siya compared to the usual dial up?

2005-06-26T10:52:00.000+08:00

i am in dire need of an mp3 file of:

TECHNOLOGIC by DAFT PUNK

lam nyo yun? the theme song of ipod's comemrcial?

kung sino man may mp3 nito, please, pahingi po!!!! i am desperate!

please email it to iamlica@gmail.com

whoever you are, maraming maraming salamat!!

Magic Cream,Quicksilver,Nursing and Dubai

2005-06-24T18:58:00.000+08:00

yesterday, sherwin and i went to the office of the head of the P.E. department since the dept head was our *pe teacher* daw. the department agreed to open a new section exclusively for graduating students who still lacked p.e... turns out, 7 lang pala kaming nag enroll. anyway, the section was opened last june 13 pa but until now, the teacher still hasnt met her students. kasi naman, our schedule is 12noon-1pm since all 7 of us have classes from 7-12 and 1-7. yun lang talaga ang avialable time namin. everytime we go to the gym, ther's always a note from our teahcer saying that she'd meet us at 2pm nalang. e lahat kami may class at 2, so wala talagang magaattend dun sa 2pm meeting. that's why until now, hindi pa rin kami nagkikita-kita lahat.

yesterday, pumunta pa rin kami ni sherwin sa gym eventhough we knew that the teacher would not be around. we were planning to leave our classcards to the secretary nalang. when we arrived at the office, there was no one around except for a guy and his mom. we asked the woman if a teacher was around, she told us na wala and they were also waiting for the head of the department. she asked us if we were late enrolles din, we told her that we were just there to pass our classcards but we were regualr students. she told us that they have just arrived from Dubai the day before. they were pinoy but their family lived in Dubai. sabi nya, ngayon lang daw sila dumating kasi katatapos lang daw ng school term sa Dubai. she told us na nahirapan daw yung anak niya sa entrance exam since schools in Dubai follow the british curriculum instead of the american curriculum. nahirapan daw siay sa mga spellings since iba daw yung turo sa kanila sa Dubai. so the coordinator advised him to take AB general for a year muna before proceeding to nursing para makaadjust muna siya sa bagong environment.

so tinuloy niya yung story niya bout Dubai. she told us that Dubai was an open city contrary to the belief that it was like Saudi Arabia na strict ang government. sabi niya, liberated naman daw ang mga tao dun. they can wear whatever they wanted and they were even allowed to wear swimsuits sa beach. she told us na hindi daw mahihirapan ang mga pinoy dun kasi most people spoke english. kaya lang, mainit rin da dun so most houses had 3 or more aircons. sabi nya rin, mura lang daw ang mgabilihin dun, lalo na pag may sale. she told us na uso daw ang mga Billabong and Quicksilver stuff dun. we asked her how much yung mga ganun dun, she converted the Dubai currency to peso and we foundout that the stuff usually sold here at 2,000 pesos was only 500-600 pesos dun. grabe. she also told us that perfumes in Dubai were really cheap. sabi pa nga nya, her children were so used to wearing the designer perfumes that everytime she comes home to pinas, she buys penshoppe and bench colognes forher kids kasi mas nagugustuhan nila yung mga locally made.

she told us that she was a nurse. we asked her if malaki ba ang kinikita ng mga nurses dun. she convrted her monthly salary to peso and came out to be 122,000 pesos! per month yun ha. amazing talaga. sabi niya life was easy daw in Dubai kasi under british control naman yung hospitals so english ang mga tao dun. so we wasked her kung anong requirements for aspiring nurses, hindi pa naman namin planong mag-apply pero malay mo diba, atleast may option na kami. she told us na board exam result langdaw and 2-year experience. no more CGFNS, TOEFEL or NCLEX. sabi pa niya, ang salary daw for starting nurses was 60,000pesos when converted locally. ok na dba? plus may dorm naman daw yung mga walang tirahan, may tv, washing machine plus may furniture allowance pa daw. and, lahat ng nurses allowed ng 45-day leave every year. kahit on leave, binabayaran pa rin sila plus, libre pa daw ang plane tickets! parang gusto ko na tuloy magtrabaho sa Dubai. hehe

anyway, she told us more about Dubai than dumating kami sa topic about magic cream. apparently, kilala niya raw yung inventor ng magic cream. i forgot the name but she said that the inventor lived in a hotel in Dubai daw. parang may resident na siya sa isang hotel. i forgot how they met but when she tried the magic cream products daw, first application pa lang daw, may effect na. pati yung daughter niya raw na may skin asthma, na cure using magic cream. she told us that thay saw Boy Abunda's show about magic cream containing mercury. sabi niya, magic cream was supposed to be 100% herbal, kaso, the sole distributor here sa pinas mixed magic cream with chemicals, including mercury. kaya when the inventor heard the news, tinerminate niya raw yung contrcat niya with the distributor dito sa pinas. and one more thing daw na ayaw nung inventor was the packaging used by the pinoy. kasi daw, yung elongated container na ginagamit dito, pang urine sample daw yun sa hospitals. container pa lang, parang unsanitary na raw. so ngayon, wala na raw distributor sa pinas. since naging friend nya yung may ari ng magic cream, nag offer daw siya na maging ditributor dito. may friend na raw siya na naghahandle ng luzon so sa visayas and mindanao daw yung ihahandle niya. she even told us na the inventor met claudine baretto daw in Dubai when the abs cbn staff were in dubai. they stayed in the same hotel where the inventor lived so ininvite daw si claudine to have a sample of the magic cream products and eventually, lahat daw nung abs cbn staff na nandun nag order the magic cream kasi nagustuhan daw nila yung effect. claudine daw is the current image model of magic cream.

i dont use magic cream naman but i think the product is effective. based on what i saw from ate lorna (yung mother), maganda yung skin niya, pati face niya. sabi niya, since she was gonnabe an agent of the product, dapat daw siya mag experiment sa sarili niya para may first hand proof daw siya na experience sa mga effects ng products. so far, sa lahat ng hospital staff na gumagamit nung product, isa pa lang daw ang nagka allergic reaction. so i guess the product's really safe.

Happy Father's Day

2005-06-19T19:11:00.000+08:00

first of all, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all your dads!

ive been searching the net for the perfect fone. ive spent 4 hours scanning sites for that "fone." gusto kasing bilhin ng pinsan yung current fone ko which is 3650. ive been planning to sell it since january pa. the price range was supposed to be 6-7 thousand since ive been using it for more than a year na. but then, my 10 year old cousin fell in love with it and being the only child, she usually gets what she wants. plus, siya mismo ang nagoffer to buy it for 8thousand! of course, with the permission of her dad. i guess that's fair since dad nya naman nag offer nung price eh. theyre planning to buy at the end of july. kaso, wala pa kong nahahanap na kapalit! alangan naman ibenta ko phone ko tapos wala akong ipapalit!

eto yung hinahanap kong features:

may camera
may mp3
may radio
expandable yung memory
preferably series60 na fone (meaning pwede yung .sis files na games and applications not just plain java apps)

yun lang naman ang hinahanap ko. unfortunately, ang hirap makahanap ng fone na may ganung features. usually, it has 4 out of 5 features pero hindi talaga pwede kung wala yan lahat. hahay.

gusto ko sana yung bagong nokia 3230. yung mukhang SE k700. it has all the features that i want kaso, nabasa ko s pinoy exchange na ang marami rin palang downsides tong fone na to. and one thing that worried me was the comment na ito yung magiging "fone ng bayan" in the near future since it's quite cheap for a fone with exceptional features. it was 22thou when it first came out about a month ago, pero now, its 17,000+ nalang. ang dali nyang nagdepreciate.

kung sino man may ganitong fone, please share your insights. or kung sino man may maisasuggest na magandang fone, please do share it. i'd gladly appreciate it. salamat!

blurry eyes

2005-06-17T23:43:00.000+08:00

i could not recall a significant event that occured yesterday, maybe because i only had 3 hourse of sleep. went to bed at around three and woke up at 7. nahilo ako buong araw! parang blurred lahat ang nakikita ko. everything was in slow motion. i came back to my senses late in the afternoon coz i had to accompany fiona to the hospital kasi iaadmit namin si martin. kawawa naman kasi coz his parents arent around. he's been sick since last saturday and his fever hasnt gone down since. he didnt want to be admitted but we had no other choice. baka lumala pa if he stayed at home. besides, there wasnt anyone to take care of him there since he only stays in an apartment with his cousin who's also in college. may pasok rin si tina so she couldnt be there all the time. when we arrived in the hospital, andun na silang dalawa. martin looked so sick and pale. kawawa talaga. we had him checked in the ER. at first, ayaw pa niyang magpaadmit kasi the only space available was in the hallway! apparently, all the rooms are taken kaya sa hallway nalang yung ibang patients. Gad!! a lot of people are getting sick nowadays. kahit yung private hospitals puno! as in fully booked! we wanted to go to the other private hospital but they declined kasi wala na daw talagang space. wow. our other option was to have him administered with IV tapos uuwi nalang siya. parang out-patient lang. then he'll go back to the hospital para check ups lang. atleast may intravenous na nakaattach sa kanya. besides, he lives across the hospital naman so its not that hard for hime to go back to the hospital. but then sabi ng nurse di daw pwede yung ganon. kung may IV, dapat ipaadmit daw. hindi daw pwedeng iuwi yung patient with IV kasi wala daw magmomonitor nun. so fiona and i said na "nursing students naman kami so kami nalang magmomonitor sa kanya", but then hindi pa rin nakalusot. so yun, martin had no choice but to take the "hallway." he's still there right now but he's getting better. atleast he wasnt as pale as yesterday and he can eat na. before he was admitted, hindi kasi siya nakakakain due to his tonsilitis, which, by the way, is the main reason why he got sick. Tina said there were times when he'd only take three spoons of noodles in one day kasi masakit daw talaga yung throat nya. oh well, hope he gets better.

i hate being in the front seat

2005-06-14T11:56:00.000+08:00

another first day. first day ng major subjects.

it went pretty well. the group, composed of 50 heads, wasnt what i had expected. im SO glad it wasnt. i imagined greeting a group of serious minded nursing freaks on my first day of class. instead, i found myself in a room full of noisy, magulo, carefree people. HAY SALAMAT! my new blockmates werent that bad after all. kala ko kasi mga kj ang bago kong classmates. haha. ive never been fond of having new classmates every year, nor every semester! i prefer being in a block section and retain that block for the whole year, and if possible, for the rest of my college days! Di naman talaga ako anti-social, may separation anxiety lang. hehe. i have a hard time letting go of the bond that has kept us together for one whole year.

wel anyway, i havent met all the 14 heads with whom i will be spending 12 hours every single day for the next 6 months and possibly 10 months. ive only gotten to know a few. ive already met rizza and ate tess, whom i spent my entire junior year with. there's also ate arlene and ate jeryl, whom i spent my sophomore year with. there's albert, who was my 6th grade classmate and there's mark who was one of my blockmates in my freshman year. so there, 6 down, 8 more heads to go. apparently, these 8 new heads are new to me, but from what ive seen this morning, them seemed ok to me. di masyadong seryoso pero di rin naman lost. im thankful that i fell in the company of these people instead of being thrown into the pit with oh-so-serious students. ayoko ng ganun. ive experienced it before at ayokong maulit yun. ilagay nyo nalang ako sa maiingay at magugulong klase kasi mas nakakarelate ako dun. :)

my friends went to school early so they got to choose the seats. being the good friends that they are, they reserved a seat for me rin. IN FRONT! as in front seats! i have never in my whole life sat in front! im a certified back seater! bakit ako nasa harap?!? but then again, that's what i get for being a late comer. i couldnt blame them either, even if i arrived early, di rin sila papayag na umupo sa likuran. i guess im doomed. intructors usually call the people in the front line. parang automatic na yun e, especially in a class as big as ours, they would have the chance to get to know each one of us, so tinatawag nila yung una nilang nakikita. yep, that would be us. and to make things worse, my professor is a friend of my mom. so she knows my name. at lahat ng kalokohan ko sa skul ay pwede nyang isumbong sa parents ko. crap.

being in the front seat would also mean that i could no longer get away with wearing slippers to school. i dont know why the nursing department forbids the student to wear slippers in school. hindi naman talaga pambahay na slippers ginagamit namin e. at hindi lang slippers ang tinitira nila, pati shorts (boys or girls), baby tees, at short skirts. parang gusto nilang magmukha kaming nerd e. dati kasi, i was always seated at the back kaya i had the freedom to wear whatever i want kasi hindi naman nila makikita yung suot ko. but now, being a front seater, i have to appear 'presentable' to avoid being humiliated by my prof.

aside from my seat, wala naman ako masyadong reklamo. i think this class would be fun. i hope.

First day blues..

2005-06-07T19:17:00.000+08:00

its the first day of school and im sick. i went to school with puffy eyes and a runny nose. what a way to start the school year.

First day wasn't so bad. Our beloved dean has extended our vacation for a week, giving us 7 more days to wake up late til classes in the nursing department resume next Monday. Unfortuantely, I have a litterature class which wasn't covered by the 1 week extension so I had to go to school at 5pm to attend my only non-major subject. I was supposed to have two non-major subjects this semester, P.E. being the other subject. Unfortunately, my major subjects doesn't coincide with the available p.e schedules so I had to sacrifice it…again. Why I'm taking up p.e in my senior year is a story that has become a subject for jokes among my friends. It wasn't because I flunked the subject, it was something more complicated. Whenever friends ask me what subjects I lacked, I'd proudly say "p.e.", and they either respond with a raised eyebrow asking "why?" or a face that's trying hard not to laugh asking "whattt?!" I just hope luck would be on my side next semester so that I could get a schedule that would coincide with my major subjects.

Happy Sunday!

2005-05-22T16:28:00.000+08:00

this site will undergo drastic changes in the following days. Good day to all! :)

Supermom

2005-05-08T07:48:00.000+08:00

I have never in my whole life felt so greatful to be blessed with a mom like mine. it is only recently that i realized that the bond i share with my mom was something different from other moms and daughters. i used to think that every girl i knew had the same relationship with their moms. i thought everyone had a supermom.

First and foremost, i salute her for bringing up two very behaved and disciplined kids. yes, that's me and my brother. no, im not implying that we're the best kids in the world. i am just so amazed at how well she managed to discipline us without being so strict. when i was growing up, my dad was always at work and that left my mom the responsibility of disciplining us. i am so proud to say that never in my life have i experienced throwing tantrums in department stores nor anywhere else, even at home.

she does everything at home, from household chores to kitchen work. you name it, she does it. she cleans the house, she does the laundry, does the dishes and most especially, cooks our meals. we never had a househelp for as long as i could remember. we never needed one, and partly because, i never wanted one. whenever the subject of hiring a yaya came up, i was always the first one to protest. why did we have to hire a stranger to work at home when my mom could do everything better? i know it sounds selfish and i know it would be beneficial for my mom to have someone help her do the chores. it's just that all my life, i have gotten used living with everything being done by my mom. for one thing, it's the food that i am most concerned about. i have grown up loving evry bit of my mom's culinary talent. she admitted that she was a virgin in the kitchen when she got married and had to forced my lola's househelp to give her a the basics on cooking, including rice. but that doesnt bother us at all because now, she can cook anything and everything we request, from what we read in magazines, what we see on tv and even what we tasted in restaurants. just give her the instructions and she can come up with something that tastes even better than the original. another thing which i really admire about her cooking is that she makes sure that everything was clean, fresh and in good quality no matter what it takes. now, having a yaya would mean that my mom would sometimes assign the task of cooking to the househelp and i wouldnt want my dinner prepared by any other person except my mom. sorry for sounding like a brat but that's just the way things go at home, and i know my dad and my brother feels the same way.

another special feature of my supermom is how she visits me and my brother in our bedrooms everynight. no, we dont live in a millitary home where bedchecks are SOP. she just does it to catch up on what weve been up to lately. i dont get to spend as much time at home as i did when i was in high school. now that im in college, i leave home at 7am and usually arrive home at 7pm just in time for dinner. there isnt much time to talk about what's been going on in my life since im usually so tired to talk and just usually go straight to my bedroom after dinner to rest. so it's my mom who reaches out and visits us in the bedroom. we usually just talk about school and other things i needed to know or she needed to know. sometimes she just comes in to tell me something funny that happened earlier that day or sometimes she simply just wants to annoy me until i reach the point of being "pikon" and we'd end up wrestling each other or chasing each other around the house. yes, that's my mom.

during school nights, my dad imposed a 7 o'clock curfew. it's quite reasonable for me since my classes usually end up at 4, but sometimes, due to schoolwork, we'd have to stay out late to work on case prsentations and ward classes. sometimes, we end up at 2 in the morning, when i get home, i'd still find my mom awake while waiting for me. she'd ask me if i had eaten already or if i wanted a midnight snack.

even in school work, my mom was always there to help. she was always willing to stay up late to help out my brother for a major presentation the next day.

between her and my dad, she was the calmer one. that is why she was the one we ran to when we had problems and if we wanted something. of course, the final decision was always my dad's, but if we told her first, she could help us convince my dad into saying yes. my dad was alwyas the disciplinarian, she was our "kakampi". whenever my dad got too mad at us, she would always tell dad that to calm down.

oftentimes, my friends and i go out after classes. we eat somewhere or just simply hang out at a friend's house until my curfew. once or twice a week, my mom would go to the grocery shop to stock up our kitchen cabinets, and when she does, she would always call me and ask me if my classes are over and if i wanted to eat before grocery shopping. i would usually say yes then i'd say goodbye to my friends then meet my mom. back then, my friend would usually tease me, saying that it wasnt really my mom whom i was meeting but some other guy that i havent introduced to them. it was funny. but as time passed by, i got the chance to introduce them to my mom, so now, whenever my mom called, they know that its really her.

when people see us together, theyd often mistake her as my older sister. i deny it most of the time, but yes, she does look like just a couple of years older than me. Even my lolo's cousin is amazed at how well she takes care of herself despite the rigorous work she does at home. i myself cannot figure out how well she keeps her skin healthy even without the help of night creams, lotions and the kind.

there are still so many things that my supermom is capable of, but it would take me all day long to write them all down. i know i might have hurt her feelings in one way or another and i know that i could never repay her for all the wondeful things she has done, let alone bring me into this world.

i would just like to tell the whole world how blessed i am to be born in this world by a supermom as great as her.

Happy Mother's Day to all moms.